The Dee Army: The Unnaturally Terrible Plan of Not-Giving-Candy
by TechnoDee
Summary: Halloween, unfortunately, cannot be as simple as hi-here's-your-candy-and-happy-Halloween. [oneshot] [fanfiction off Kirby: The Dee Army which I don't own]


**A/N: **First things first, pay attention to these:

1. This is a fanfiction off a fan comic—"Kirby: The Dee Army"—which I _do not_ own. It's hosted on SmackJeeves and done up by Luigi_96—who's called "Nashew" round these parts. And, if you haven't read it before, then you've got a handful of choices: go read the comic, click the X button this tab or hit the back button, or just read it and not know what's going on. Those work.

2. I spent a good deal of time thinking over the title, and it could range from "Bohboh is a Clingy Prat", "Redtro Being a Grumpy Toad" or "Korian's Pal-y Vocabulary". Any suggestions, go ahead.

3. Considering the fact that this takes place The Dee Army, Shade is still a Guardian. And I don't doubt the characters will be at least half OOC—especially Mr Ex-Guardian, since he wasn't given much screen time, and that it's pretty hard to figure out what some of them would do in some circumstances, so.

4. _This is not a horror fanfic and I cannot stress on that enough._ I take pride in joke-y, non-serious works. Anything else and I'll probably jump from A to F. (also, I won't deny that I fell asleep halfway while writing this. And I have no experience in Halloween because nothing special happens over here.)

* * *

><p><strong>Kirby: The Dee Army<strong>

**The Unnaturally Terrible Plan of Not-Giving-Candy**

* * *

><p>Being hit constantly by a roundish and rough object was, naturally, not the ideal way to wake up.<p>

"Pal, get up."

Redtro was _never_ woken up by some stupid round thing. He was never woken up by _anything_. He naturally woke up by himself, and if he didn't, he would be woken up by Bohboh's (rather terrifying) shrieks. Which is the reason why he did not respond to whoever that was.

Unfortunately, the thing was persistent. More slapping by the round and hard object. "Pal, we haven't got all day. I've been here for at least fifteen minutes. Skylar's gonna get mad."

Still no response.

"…I'm gonna have to drag in that owl, pa—"

Redtro bolted up, instinctively fumbling for his lightsaber by the side and mustered up the best glare directed to the offender. It probably would have looked more threatening if he didn't look so sleepy. The puffball opposite him—who was holding something that looked like a pebble—looked amused.

"…Korian, it's _four_. In the _morning_."

"Actually, pal, it's three. Three-fifteen in the morning."

"How does that help matters?"

"Well…" the Guardian of Halfmoon squinted, "…it's not supposed to, I guess? Skylar just called all of us to gather up at his place. Y'know, Skyhigh. That's it, pal. Seriously wasn't trying to rob you or anything."

Jumping off the convenient, flat rock which he had deemed a suitable replacement for a bed, Redtro sighed in obvious exasperation. He had to get up a bunch of hours earlier than he usually did, and he had to leave the planet. And leaving the planet left some serious issues.

Korian took the lead into walking to a suitable place for a take-off for a Warp Star, even though he didn't know the place as well as Redtro did, and made the occasional conversation ("Pal, do spicy pumpkins grow here?"). Redtro swiftly peeked into a hole that resembled a cave entrance they passed while walking. Korian tipped his head sideways in confusion.

"Bohboh, I'm going to—"

"He's asleep, pal. Checked before I went to hound ya."

"Huh." Redtro slipped back onto the path they were walking on. "Saves me the trouble, then."

* * *

><p>"Pal, it took this pal fifteen minutes to wake up."<p>

"Oh, you're back, Korian." Skylar looked down from the floating block he was standing on. "You took a bit longer than I expected."

"Yeah. Pal took fifteen minutes to wake up and I was hitting him with a rock."

"It's your fault, Korian. You should've yelled louder."

"Yeah. Maybe I should've dragged out the owl, too."

Was he going to use the Bohboh card whenever Redtro did something against his favour? Yes.

"Whatever it is, now that you're all here, I guess I should start." Skylar jumped down from the block and landed on the clouds. Redtro looked down and wondered how the clouds were able to act as a floor for them. He made a mental note to ask Skylar later. "I'm sure you all know what tomorrow is."

Seth jumped up, waving his stubs madly. Skylar blinked at the Guardian of Aquarius, pausing mid-speech. "Wait, what's the gnarly occasion tomorrow?"

There was an ominous pause before Skylar spoke again. "Magenta, I thought I told you to tell him when you went to fetch him."

Visibly bristling, Magenta bit back, "I _did_."

"Oh. Oh! Yeah, that Hallow-something." Seth plopped down on the clouds. "It's Mag's turn, right?"

"Originally. Magenta informed me that Floria would be occupied with some business, though, so we can't hold it on Floria this year." Skylar paused to make sure everyone was listening. "Which is exactly the point of this meeting. We need a new planet to hold it on."

Meta Knight was the first to supply an answer. "Skyhigh."

Skylar immediately sent him a dubious look. "And _why_?"

"Because if _you're_ in charge, work is guaranteed to be done."

Skylar huffed indignantly, but didn't argue against it.

Meta Knight then announced he needed to "excuse himself for a moment" (simpler term: he needed to use the toilet) and excused himself from the meeting and trotted down the cloudy hallway, only to stop midway and ask Skylar where the nearest one was. This prompted Skylar to take lead and make sure he didn't ram into one of his citizens.

"By the way, Turbo," Shade began, "why do you not transform into a normal wheel instead of a wheelie? Researches have proven that the wheel ability usually causes one to transform into a wheel, rather than a wheelie."

"…I _do_?" Turbo probably looked the most baffled among the rest of the Guardians. Without another word, he accessed his ability, and Seth helped to conjure up a puddle from the clothes. Turbo rolled in front of it and stared. "…Huh. I do."

"You didn't know that," Redtro remarked with an unamused expression.

The Guardian of Mekkai puffed his cheeks indignantly. "I'm not the type of person who'd use my ability then stare at myself in a mirror, kid."

"Speaking of mirrors, Redtro, Skylar declared you 'head of haunted house of mirrors'," Magenta informed curtly.

"I get to scare people?"

"I think."

"Good."

"If you _really_ want to scare people," Seth started, "you could just get Mag's gnarly Warp Star ri—"

The flying cutter missed him by mere centimetres. If that wasn't enough of a threat, Magenta's beast-like growl was.

"…Right, Mag, never bringing up your skills again. Never."

"How could somebody's riding be that awful, though?" Skylar—who had magically teleported back—inquired with a frown. He was one of the people who hadn't been a victim of Magenta's terrifying Warp Star skills.

"It _is_, Bro. Just is."

* * *

><p>They decided to have Shade and Meta Knight out of the Halloween event, so they could patrol around the planets in case anything odd occurred. Redtro had all but begged Skylar for that position and offered ice-cream as well, but Skylar refused him very politely.<p>

They successfully moved all everything from Floria to Skyhigh. Personally, Redtro didn't think it was a good idea—why would you have something that's meant to be _creepy_ and _horrifying_ like something out of your _nightmares_ on a _cloudy_ and _bright_ place? It gave off a bubbly feeling and would probably ruin the atmosphere.

At least all the meant-to-be-creepy stuff were in tents. Really dark tents.

"Pal, whatcha doing out here?" Korian asked curiously. Previously, Magenta had thrown the idea of Korian working at the haunted house as well, and Skylar apparently saw fit (so long as Korian didn't, you know, say "pal" in the middle of creeping somebody out, since that'd ruin everything). Redtro would most likely ban the word "pal" from his dictionary after it was over.

"Some kid fainted back in there," Redtro explained, gesturing to the tent, "so we're on break."

"…Y'think painting the tent's a good idea?"

"_No_."

"You're extraordinarily grumpy today, pal."

"Bohboh woke me up at two in the morning because he had a nightmare. Couldn't get back to sleep after that." Why couldn't they just have Redtro give out candy corn, or something? Not spook people from an obviously-fake "haunted" mirror.

"I pity you, pal. Do you want a good fight after this is over?"

"I want a good sleep after this is over."

"That could work, too."

"Can I just give out candy next year?"

Korian paused over the thought for a second or two. "Don't think so, no, pal."

* * *

><p>Needless to say, Redtro did not find that Halloween very appealing. When he headed back to the room made of clouds—and just clouds—where all the Guardians were supposed to meet, he was radiating a very sour aura that put Dark Matter's to shame.<p>

"Good work, everyone." Skylar had a half-proud, half-weary smile on his face. Of course he'd be tired since he'd been trying to calm a handful of screaming kids down. And that lasted for about an hour. Skylar deserved an applaud or two. "Was everything all right?"

"This pal's grumpy," Korian mentioned.

"Mag got mad at a bunch of gnarly people and took them out on a ride on her Warp Star," Seth dutifully reported. Magenta gave him a dirty look from across the circle the Guardians were sat in, but she didn't deny it. "You think it's okay if we crash your place for tonight, though?"

"I never said I was going to let you do that."

"Crashing somebody's house isn't actually a bad idea," Turbo mused.

"_Turbo_. You have your own planet to look after."

"Shade and Meta Knight are handling that," Redtro countered. Whatever it was, he was in dire need of sleep and having to take another Warp Star ride back home _and_ face Bohboh was not a pleasant thought. In fact, its description was right next to "disgusting".

Thank whatever deity that was out there that Skylar was not an evil, sadistic sociopath. He was much the opposite. He blinked a couple of times at the remaining Guardians, as if he was analysing them to the core, before sighing—which could very well be taken as him relenting.

Slowly, he started, "Okay, you guys _can_ stay here, but—"

Korian immediately gave Skylar a half-bro-hug which Seth joyously joined in. Only after the coughing and spluttering from the poor Guardian of Skyhigh did Magenta tell them off about not crushing him.

"You guys _can_ stay here," Skylar repeated, coughing while sending Korian and Seth a very disproving look each, "but do _not_ wander out of this room. And, if you happen to wake up before I do, then wake me up and tell me you're leaving. I don't want any mysterious disappearing."

"Sure, pal!" Korian agreed enthusiastically. "Can you tell bedtime stories?"

Skylar immediately headed for the exit. "Goodnight," he blurted out swiftly.

Redtro _did_ find it rather rude that the host, of all people, simply ditched them in a room and told them to go and sleep. No beds, or anything? He jabbed at the ground with his foot suspiciously.

...Well, seemed like clouds were better than beds.

* * *

><p>And, the following morning—nearly afternoon—Redtro was in an enormously good mood. He got to fight with Korian earlier in the morning (and lost, mainly because Korian painted his eyes over and he couldn't <em>see<em> and simply walked off an edge that Seth saved him from at the last second), Skylar provided them nice breakfast, and his trip back to Hotbeat was smooth. Yes, nothing could ruin his day—

"REDTROOOOO!"

Actually, he took that back.

"WHERE DID YOU GO? YOU JUST LEFT ME HERE!"

"Yeah, I did."

"THE CITIZENS WERE PUTTING UP STRANGE ORANGE THINGS AROUND HOTBEAT!"

"Yeah, they're called _pumpkins_. Or maybe jack-o'-lanterns."

"THEY WERE SCAAAARY!"

"That's the point of its existence." Redtro walked past Bohboh in boredom, tapping his extended lightsaber on the ground. He briefly wondered if he could get a change of Boss. If it were possible. He would have to ask Skylar some other time.

"WHERE DID YOU GOOOOO?"

"To Heaven."

"YOU'RE DEAD?"

That must've been the first person who didn't know what sarcasm was that Redtro had met. He rolled his eyes. "Yeah."

When his reply was met with silence, it gave Redtro a very wrong feeling. Bohboh did not just "fall silent". Bohboh probably spoke more than ten million words a day. Curiously, Redtro turned around.

"_NOOOOOOOOOOO!_"

Redtro winced. That was a _very_ loud screech. If it happened again, it would probably burst his eardrums—

Oh, Bohboh was already flapping away. The Guardian stared after him, puzzled.

"_REDTRO'S DEEAAAAAAD!_"

Well, at least he'd have a Bohboh-free day. And perhaps for the following days as well.


End file.
